What's in a name?

I swung by the local Burger King and was waited on by a drive-through girl named Sparkle. Yes, that is her real name. It's one thing for your parents to not care about you or your future but that is just messed up. The best part is she took my entire order while on her cell phone... her personal cell phone talking to her friends about how fat she looks (not making this up) in her new pants. BTW, she was fat. It wasn't the pants doing it... it was reality. Her job at Burger King probably didn't help either. She got the order wrong and I had to be parked as well. I got my food and then had the manager come out and talk to me. She acted like she didn't know about the phone but passed the girl on the way out, maybe they have pot as the toy in the kids meal this week. Just to be a pain in the butt I'm going to get a hold of someone at Burger King and make a stink. I am so sick of crappy service around here! I had to work my younger years in Hell... in Buffalo we call McDonald's Hell . It's a local dialect thing. Anyway, I was never thrilled to be there and looking back I think I broke more than a few health codes but I did it with a friggin smile. Just FYI, if you every get a burger and they yell to the back to make it special... don't eat it.

It got me thinking though, how many of us really turned out to be what we thought we'd be in high school? I know that when I was in high school I was very different from who I am now. I know that when I left that place I pretty much left that whole person behind me. I guess everyone does that to a point. It's sad really, so many kids in high school just dying to be accepted, the whole while not even liking themselves. There's a country song in there somewhere but that's for a different time. I know I had my demons to face just like anyone else but at least my parents didn't name me something that stupid! Jeash, I hope they didn't save up too much money for Sparkles college fund. Hey, they could give it all to her in singles!

Anyway, the MIL dropped off some Diet Snapple for us. Remember the ad for Snapple? 'Made from the best stuff on Earth!' Pretty catchy huh? Well, I got one for Diet Snapple.

'Diet Snapple... tastes like shit.'

See, it's bold and honest... it'll stick with you, just like the crappy aftertaste. At least the price was right.

Oh yeah, Sega is making a new Aliens game! I am really excited about this one. It is going to take place right after the second Alians movie... aptly names 'Aliens' and actually be cannon to the movies! No creative license crap (I hope). If they do it right this could be the game of the year in my book. They're even going to put in on-line co-op. If I can I'll get the guys at the office to pick it up and we can do some squad based Alien smacking. Here's hoping!



Lastly, our alarm went off at the house while we were out and ADT gave me a call. After the lady asked my secret question "What are you wearing?" and I gave the secret answer "I don't think that it's appropriate for you to ask me that... but it is lacy." she called the police for us. Thanks to my speed racer-esque driving skills we beat the cops home by about 2 hours. Not making that part up. If they get a call for a home invasion where no one is actually home it drops down the old priority list pretty far. Anyway I decided to sneak into the kitchen, grab the biggest knives I owned and explore the house. According to my slightly gun-nutty co-worker this is the stupidest thing to do in this situation. If my family and I are safe, then why risk any danger by entering the house. We should of waited on the cops... who took 2 hours. Yeah, screw that... I wanted to go stabbida stabbida on whoever was trying to pinch my XBox 360. My buddy asked me what I would of done if one of the would be criminals had a shotgun. I thought that was a stupid question because who brings a shotgun to rob a house... how are you going to carry anything if you have to carry the shotgun you brought. Besides, they would probably have their hands full of all my crap which would give me the advantage... unless they wanted to steal my kitchen knives first.

Anyway, I got through the first floor and everything was still there so I was feeling pretty sure the house was robber free when I remembered that I live in the idiot capitol of the world and there was a pretty good chance that these guys might be upstairs stealing the diaper genie or something. Turns out it was a false alarm... but now I think I'm going to buy a shotgun. I know it wouldn't help in this situation but if there is anything I've learned from George Bush it's that a false sense of security will outweigh common sense any day of the week.

Alcohol my have been involved...

Man claims wombat gave him Australian accent... as an STD

Yep, you read it right. My favorite part of the story is the end. 'Alcohol played a large part in his life'. That is just one more example of why I do not shop at Wal-Mart. Now, there aren't any Wal-Marts in Australia yet... to my knowledge, but as soon as one opens I bet this guy will be there.

In other news I have decided that my Photoshop skills are deplorable and I've decided to brush them up a bit. I started going here for help. It's a cool site full of photoshop tutorials. So far I have attempted a ring of fire and making a flag look wavy... I have accomplished neither. Photoshop one, me zero.Check it out and try making a blue duck. I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before. And to be honest, I wanted to see a blue duck.

The good news is that we got the super car back from the shop after everything decided to break on it. No more driving the blue bomber!! We had a leak in the roof, the radio LCD broke and the power steering went out. It was all under warranty but man, I sure feel confident that the rest of the car is built perfectly. I mean, they probably screwed up so bad on those things because they were paying so much attention to the rest of the car! Yep... really confident.

Oh yeah, one more thing.


This is a car that I found in my parking lot at work. Are those hood pins on a late 90's Hyundai? We work in the same building as a non-profit organization called Parent Child. That means I see about 3 to 5 pregnant teenagers every day... which is 2 more than the average San Antonio resident has living in their house. Now, I'm not trying to stereotype but I don't think this car belonged to any of our engineers, well maybe Patrick.

For those of you who don't pretend to know about cars, hood pins are used to hold the hood down at high speeds and allow the cars owner to remove the stock hood latches for reduced weight. Personally, I don't think that car can get fast enough to flip the hood if you launched it off a cliff.

The worst part is, this is by far not the weirdest thing I've seen on a car around here. I actually saw a wooden sports wing on a Sonata. Wooden, as in made of wood. Not kidding. Luckily my phone decided to go retarded and I never got a picture. Oh well, such is life. This is just one of the many reasons I don't drink tap water in this town. I mean... some of these people make being stupid look like a Olympic event

Hill-dawg and the epic fail

Hill-dawg is at it again. She was recently recounting a trip to Bosnia where she had to dodge sniper fire (her words) and sprint to the awaiting motorcade and make it to safety. Unfortunately, reality had to go and screw it up for her once again. Turns out CBS was on the scene and have footage of the landing...




I just don't get it with her. I know that sometimes people in the public eye can forget that the cameras are on them from time to time but... this is getting pretty silly. Does she not remember that most of her life was documented for the last 12 years? Does anyone think that the plane would have even landed if there was sniper fire within miles of the runway? I'm not really for any of the candidates but this lady has some issues. I really don't think that these transgressions are the fault of a crappy staff. You know, people telling her to say the wrong things. These candidates have people who tell their people what to say! So when a candidate says something so wrong you have to assume that she's running with these stories on her own and ignoring her staff.

So what kind of President would that make, especially since we now know she has had very little experience to actually draw on. We really don't want someone who is headstrong and stupid mixed together... that's what we have now and it's not doing to well. I can handle dumb, I deal with dumb people everyday, but when you think you're so smart that you bypass the people that you hired to stop you from saying dumb stuff... that's just too much.

Easter Hunt 2008

That's what Hayden called it and I think it's pretty funny. It makes finding plastic eggs sound... like an X game or something. Anyway, we had a good time. Serenity was sporting her pink dress and sun hat ensemble.



She was easily the cutest girl there, and I'm not just saying that because it is true... I'm also her father. She even found her very own Easter egg!!!

And then decided to eat it.


They also had games at the party like 5yr old plastic egg toss. Now I know what your thinking... "What could possibly go wrong with toddlers chucking eggs at each other from 5 feet away?" Well, to add to the fun, they decided to mix the kids up with a kid that they didn't know... for some stupid reason. I guess it was to intermingle to kids but it turned out to be "when my kid beans your kid in the head with an egg... I don't know you so it's really awkward." Thanks egg toss organizer lady! So this is a action shot of the second after Hayden whacked this kid in the head with an egg. You can still see a piece of the egg falling from the kids head after it blew into pieces.


Yeah, then Hayden had to laugh because the kid didn't "catch his toss." So after that fun we went and had hot dogs and Hayden dug into his stash of eggs. The best part was when he cracked open a hard boiled egg to get the candy out and found a yolk instead. He comes running up to me and says 'Daddy, there's no candy in this one, this BLOWS!' That was about 5 minutes before the church started their ground breaking ceremony and everyone was getting ready to pray. Hayden... the master of comedic timing.

Making friends...

Vice President and leader of the underworld Dick Cheney was recently interviewed by ABC News' Martha Raddatz while in Oman. When asked what he thought about two-thirds of Americans think that the war in Iraq is not worth it he replied 'So?'




I thought we were a government for the people and by the people. No I'm not about to say that we should pull out today, but when our leaders stop taking the views and opinions of the people into consideration we have some problems. Also, what a stupid thing to do! It just looks elitist, 'who cares what the people think... I'm smarter than they are anyway.' I never really thought Cheney was a good Vice anyway. As far as I can tell he's just gone from country to country screwing up our foreign relations.


Then we get this.

Clinton Lie Kills Her Credibility on Trade Policy

This is a great story, apparently Hill-dawg never disapproved of NAFTA like she claims. In fact she held meeting after meeting to drum up support for it. The thing that kills me about this is she can just say that she changed her mind, but instead decided to fabricate this story about how she always knew that this plan would doom America. How she alone had the foresight to see that damage that was to come. She desperately tried to rally support against NAFTA but just didn't have the political weight... if only she would have known someone back then who could have done something about it... if only she has some kind of inside track to the President. If only she was a 22 yr old intern with a blue dress, then she could have caught the Presidents attention and rid us this horrible trade agreement, which is the root of all our problems!

Jeash lady, give it a rest.

Whelp, she's a liar... big surprise there. Now, I'm not saying that these other two yahoo's are any better but... it's like she's not even trying. One of my favorite jokes from a guy called Frank Caliendo. He says 'Bill Clinton was so slick that he could stand in front of an audience and say "I am not here." And they'd buy it.' It's about 2 minutes in but it's worth it.




Man, you'd think he'd teach Hillary that trick. I think I'd rather get the segregated toilets that Obama's pastor wants us to have over Hillary in office.

In any event, I'm going to my friends church to celebrate the resurrection by watching Seri pick up candy filled eggs. It'll make for cute pictures.

I got that music in my soul... or maybe it's just gas.

For as long as I can remember I wanted to play guitar. I actually tired the sax when I was young and that went as well as could be expected. Apparently I don't have what is commonly referred to as 'the musicians ear'... I think I got stuck with the 'swimmers ear' instead. Despite that setback, Joy bought me a guitar recently and I think I'm going to try lessons. The cool thing is I can drag Hayden into it because the have lessons for little kids as well. I don't know how you teach a 5 year old guitar but... he does rock at Guitar Hero! I should start soon, so we'll see how long it lasts.

In other news, we finally got back together with our friends from West Virginia. They stopped by for some burgers and whatnot. I got to show Jeremiah where all the music is hiding on the interweb... it was great because every minute or so he'd remark 'computers can do that?' and that just makes me feel smart.

Joy's really smart and her intelligence is only rivaled for her lack of any interest in what I can make the family puttinator do. So, I'm usually left to pat myself on the back for my latest photoshop or whatever else I'm tinkering with. It's nice to show off some of my stuff every now and again.

Seri and the doggy...

Another B-day this week. Seri got to meet her first dog. Well, technically the MIL has dogs, but they are more like rats with collars. She wasn't to thrilled on seeing the puppy in the first place, she had a good stare down session through the patio door.



Then the dog came in and licked her face, so Seri decided to spend the rest of the party hiding under the kitchen table.


There is a term called epic fail. If you need an explanation on what it is read this. This guy put a $12,000 engagement ring inside a mylar balloon and then accidentally released it when he left the store. Now, there really isn't a standardize test to see if you're good marrying material... but nature has a way of hinting at it. My big thing is the $12,000 ring! I mean, it doesn't even play MP3's! Everything nowadays plays MP3's.

Oh, and my co-worker decided to pose with his son's Optimus Prime doll. There was no way I could let that opportunity pass by. Yep, I'm a great friend.