Smokey the bear says... give a hoot, don't burn down your house!

You ever have a day where you start out just doing something innocent... like making ribs for dinner and then you kind of... start a large fire? Yep, me too. I started smoking some ribs around 11 am. They have to go for at least 5 hours. I had put rub on them the night before and was ready to rock. I had just downloaded a remake of the original Bionic Commando from Xbox Live. It's awesome and I was 11 years old again... but that's a different story. I was checking the fire every half hour or so to see if I had to add some more wood when I noticed that my grill was giving out a lot of smoke... a whole lot of smoke. Sure enough, half the backyard was ablaze! A coal had fallen out of the smoker and started a brush fire in my own backyard. I ran out with my trusty garden hose (which kinked up as soon as I got to the fire) and saved the day. Here's the aftermath.


Now, if your a true American I already know the question you are going to ask and yes, the ribs turned out awesome. So awesome in fact, that I think I'm going to get my cousins Peter and Janet over for ribs this next weekend.


They were fall off the bone good! Oh yeah, Peter is a cop and he's one of the few good ones in San Antonio. Also, he has helped me with some... um... minor infractions in the past. See, the best way to sum up my driving in one word is... retarded. I like to go fast, and the fact that I drive a Silverado with a V-6 doesn't really phase me. This is why I don't drive my wife's Grand Prix GT... because that thing really is fast. Also, years of driving in the winters of Buffalo have taught me how to kick out the back end of my truck at will... which I do ever time it rains. That means, having Peter over for ribs is kind of like an investment.

Have you heard that there is a group that is trying to stop people from saying retarded. That's just... retarded! They say it's offensive to actual retarded people but I don't use the word to describe them... I use it to describe the average citizen of San Antonio. This place is the retard mecca of the world. Seriously, people here are so dumb it's like they're trying to win a prize at dumb-assery. I guess we are suppose to use the r-word instead. For example "I can't believe that guy cut me off! He's a fucking r-word!" I don't think it's going to catch on.

Anyway, it's late and I have to go get some sleep or my r-word boss will be all over me for drooling on my keyboard tomorrow.