I've decided that my retirement plan is going to be 'go crazy'. I don't mean just mumbling to myself crazy, I mean dress wearing, banana slinging, bat-shit crazy. It'll be fun. I told Joy that when that glorious day comes, when the kids are all out of the house and I actually retire that I'm going to concoct at air powered gun that fires frozen Twinkies and then go terrorize downtown. After that... I might vote in a presidential election... you know, just do some really useless idiotic stuff.
Of course, if that doesn't work... or if I get too lazy (which happens to some of my best plans) I'll just resort to being this guy.
Things my dad says.
Now, I think Twitter is lame. But, if there was every a reason for Twitter... this site is it. It's just a 29 year old guy who writes down memorable quotes from his 79 year old dad. It's pretty crass so put on your adult pants when reading... but it's really funny.
I'll leave you with two of my favorites:
"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."
"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and I'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Marshmallows
These kids were told that if they don't eat this marshmallow that they would get a reward. It's hilarious watching these kids try and fight the temptation.
The kid in the dark gray shirt that looks like the Atari symbol on it.... I just bought Hayden that shirt.
The kid in the dark gray shirt that looks like the Atari symbol on it.... I just bought Hayden that shirt.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Another phone
Well, my phone died again. I had just gotten a 16 GB card for it, so I can put more episodes of It's always Sunny on there, and it decided to stop working. Luckily, the Verizon guys replaced it for me. I remember in the bad old days with Sprint, when I had to argue and fight to get customer service. Man, I hate Sprint. So, the new phone works great and I have 16 GB of storage on it now! My buddy was quick to remind me that his Iphone has 32 GB... but I don't care because he has a stupid haircut.
According to the Interwebs, there is a good chance that Apple is going to release the Iphone from AT&T's clutches next year. Hopefully, Verizon will pick up the phone. Really hopefully, Verizon will pick up the next iteration of the phone. I'm thinking it might be a pipe dream but, maybe they'll make an new version when they release it to other wireless vendors. We'll just have to wait and see.
According to the Interwebs, there is a good chance that Apple is going to release the Iphone from AT&T's clutches next year. Hopefully, Verizon will pick up the phone. Really hopefully, Verizon will pick up the next iteration of the phone. I'm thinking it might be a pipe dream but, maybe they'll make an new version when they release it to other wireless vendors. We'll just have to wait and see.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Green Man
You should really be watching 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'
Maybe I'll be the Green Man for Halloween...
Maybe I'll be the Green Man for Halloween...
DD-214
When you leave the Air Force, they give you a DD-214 that pretty much sums up your military career. They give you 4 copies and tell you to never loose this document, because you'll need it if you ever want a federal job. So... I lost it.
My new job needed this document in order to hire me. I signed a contingency letter that stated that I had to produce this document in 30 days or I forfeited my position. Needless to say, I really needed to get this paper! I went to Randolph AFB, which is home to the Air Force Personnel Center. They told me to contact the National Archives in Maryland to get my records and that it'd take 15 buisness days. I contacted them and sent in a written request only to wait 15 buisness days to be told that they don't have it and to contact... the Air Force Personnel Center at Randolph AFB! I called up AFPC and talked to the same guy who sent me to the National Archives. He tells me "Hey, you want to just drive down here and get it?" Yeah, I wanted to punch babies. The good news is that I got to drive a half hour to Randolph on the company's dime! Randolph is a beautiful base. Here's the AFPC HQ.
Then I got to see where they work on some of the jets. I took this picture and then went inside to check it out. They had an F-16 totally dismantled and they let me check it out. They also had a trainer all taken apart. I asked if I could get a picture but the guy said no. So I guess I was lucky to get the picture I did take.
Then, after work, I found this big mud puddle near this warehouse on base. I figured I could pull some donuts really quick before I went home. So, I got in the mud and tooled around a little and left just in time to pull up next to a cop. Good times.
He let me go after giving me some weird looks. I think that's the last time I go muddin on base!
Well, that's about it for this week. We finally got some rain and I think it'll rain the rest of the week. It actually got down to 75 during the day today, which means my favorite holiday is just around the bend... Halloween! Now if only I can get a good Big Daddy costume and convince Joy to let Seri be a Little Sister.
My new job needed this document in order to hire me. I signed a contingency letter that stated that I had to produce this document in 30 days or I forfeited my position. Needless to say, I really needed to get this paper! I went to Randolph AFB, which is home to the Air Force Personnel Center. They told me to contact the National Archives in Maryland to get my records and that it'd take 15 buisness days. I contacted them and sent in a written request only to wait 15 buisness days to be told that they don't have it and to contact... the Air Force Personnel Center at Randolph AFB! I called up AFPC and talked to the same guy who sent me to the National Archives. He tells me "Hey, you want to just drive down here and get it?" Yeah, I wanted to punch babies. The good news is that I got to drive a half hour to Randolph on the company's dime! Randolph is a beautiful base. Here's the AFPC HQ.
Then I got to see where they work on some of the jets. I took this picture and then went inside to check it out. They had an F-16 totally dismantled and they let me check it out. They also had a trainer all taken apart. I asked if I could get a picture but the guy said no. So I guess I was lucky to get the picture I did take.
Then, after work, I found this big mud puddle near this warehouse on base. I figured I could pull some donuts really quick before I went home. So, I got in the mud and tooled around a little and left just in time to pull up next to a cop. Good times.
He let me go after giving me some weird looks. I think that's the last time I go muddin on base!
Well, that's about it for this week. We finally got some rain and I think it'll rain the rest of the week. It actually got down to 75 during the day today, which means my favorite holiday is just around the bend... Halloween! Now if only I can get a good Big Daddy costume and convince Joy to let Seri be a Little Sister.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Labor Day
In celebration of Labor Day we attempted to not do anything. It kind of worked. We ended up cleaning the house all weekend and then having our friends over on Monday for hamburgers and paintball.
Hayden got to play some Mario Kart with Dillon, which gave him the opportunity to school someone besides his dad. I swear he cheats!
Seri got this little Tupperware tea set. She hasn't put it down since. We did tea time with Kool-Aide once... then switched to water, which is way less messy.
We then spent some time shooting up a bucket with the paintball gun. In our defense, that bucket was a real jerk and got what it deserved.
I had a couple pictures of shooting the paintball guns but the camera was mistakenly set to fat and retarded looking... so the pictures didn't come out right.
Hayden got to play some Mario Kart with Dillon, which gave him the opportunity to school someone besides his dad. I swear he cheats!
Seri got this little Tupperware tea set. She hasn't put it down since. We did tea time with Kool-Aide once... then switched to water, which is way less messy.
We then spent some time shooting up a bucket with the paintball gun. In our defense, that bucket was a real jerk and got what it deserved.
I had a couple pictures of shooting the paintball guns but the camera was mistakenly set to fat and retarded looking... so the pictures didn't come out right.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Pair of Ducks
Real quick... I love a clean house. When my house is clean, I am happy. I can have a horrible day at work and if the house is clean... it all washes away.
Now, the problem is that my love for a clean house is directly proportionate to my hatred of cleaning. Joy and I spent today cleaning everything, I rounded out the night by finishing up my Data Structure homework and then painting the door that Seri wrote on. Tomorrow, I am going to duct tape the kids to a wall and enjoy the clean house.
The new job
Well, I finally quit my dream job. Just to recap, after the Air Force I got a job as a gov't contractor doing Sysadmin work for a detachment of the 46th Test Squadron here in San Antonio. It was really cool because I ran my own network and due to the type of work we did, I really didn't have to follow any gov't rules. Well, running one network turned into running 3 networks, which turned into designing and building test networks and doing all the security paperwork for them as well. I worked with some great guys and I really loved the work. I could have stayed there for the rest of my career and been happy.
Like all good things, this had to come to an end. We had a real jerk of a contractor coupled with a real jerk of a GS and together they managed to run that place right into the ground! So, that contract is about to go under and I was about to be unemployed. Luckily, I found a good job with a good raise and started last Monday. I'm now a Senior IA Systems Engineer. What that means is that I do a ton of paperwork and technical writing. I do get to play on some networks though and the stuff I'm working on is pretty cool too. I'll get to be around planes for the first time in my Air Force career... which is kind of funny.
So, here's to a different path... I'll just have to see where it takes me. Anytime you can move to a new job with a 13% raise is usually a good thing!
Like all good things, this had to come to an end. We had a real jerk of a contractor coupled with a real jerk of a GS and together they managed to run that place right into the ground! So, that contract is about to go under and I was about to be unemployed. Luckily, I found a good job with a good raise and started last Monday. I'm now a Senior IA Systems Engineer. What that means is that I do a ton of paperwork and technical writing. I do get to play on some networks though and the stuff I'm working on is pretty cool too. I'll get to be around planes for the first time in my Air Force career... which is kind of funny.
So, here's to a different path... I'll just have to see where it takes me. Anytime you can move to a new job with a 13% raise is usually a good thing!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Check this out
It's things like this that make me regret becoming a Network Engineer instead of a Graphics Design guy.
Portal Tree
Every so often, I download a copy of Blender and start messing around... only to realize once again that I have no artistic talent whatsoever!
Portal Tree
Every so often, I download a copy of Blender and start messing around... only to realize once again that I have no artistic talent whatsoever!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
So... where were we?
Well, a ton of stuff has happened since my last post. The biggest thing is that Joy's grandma passed away. She was a nice lady and it's really sad, but she was in pain so it's kind of a happy thing too. I always have mixed emotions about this sort of thing because when you've lived a good long life, death isn't as much as a horrible thing. In any event it was pretty sad.
Other than that, I quit my job. There were two really stupid guys working there that really ruined that contract. Now I'm on a new one with a hefty raise and a good promotion... but I'm way out of my comfort zone and I'm more than a little nervous. I think I can do the job, that's not the problem. It's just not what I really enjoy, and it's not where my real talent lies. I'll give it a whack and we'll see what happens. I know it's lame but the thing that keeps going though my head is that old lady in Madagascar 2. After the New Yorkers are ambushed by the penguins and she leads them into the jungle some guy asks "Hey old lady, do you know where you're going?" She says "No, but I have a smile on my face and a skip in my step!" Earlier the guy says to the group "I don't know about you guys, but I'm following the old lady!" So that's me... following the old lady. I swear that makes more sense in my head.
I did get to finally install the radio into my truck that Joy bought me... 3 years ago! Now, if you know me, and especially if you know my brother, you know that the spawn of Pat are not too good in the car audio department. My favorite example is when Jake swapped out a radio in a Dodge Aries and actually got the headlights to dim with the domelight dimmer. It wasn't on purpose and it was really kind of cool. This time I bought the install kit for my truck ($100!!) and i can't believe how smooth it went. I only cut myself twice and once was from stepping on a nail in the garage so that doesn't even count! The system sounds really good, I replaced the factory speakers while I was at it. It can hook up to my phone, iPod and laptop so it's pretty versatile. Now I can hook up the phone and play Scooby-Doo (for free) when I drive Hayden to school or gymnastics. I also get a bunch of Daily Show clips and I put every season of 'It's always Sunny in Philadelphia' on the phone too... good stuff! If you haven't watched It's always Sunny yet then you are really missing out!
We have so much stuff going on it's crazy. We got Hayden into a much better school this year, by San Antonio standards. So picture the worst school in your area, now set it on fire and replace all the books with pregnant teenagers and poo... that's the best school in SA. This school is high on the list but not the best... we're hoping to get him into a good private school. Yeah, I know... it means I have to wear my Jesus pants again. I've been practicing though... I talked to my gay friend yesterday and told him that he's the reason God doesn't talk to us anymore. I felt very holy. I think next I'm send a chain letter about how Obama is a muslim who wasn't really born in Hawaii... but that might be laying on a little too thick. Oh well, I'm hoping that the churchies are as adept at sarcasm as the rest of San Antonio is at driving. Then it'll be fun.
I didn't mean to offend anyone with what I wrote. If you could see the people I have to deal with to get Hayden into this school... you'd know what I mean. I just wish I could be myself and get my son into a good school. 'Our school is our ministry'... yeah right.
I really should have some pictures but... all I have are these.
Hayden took a picture of Seri on my desk, so I would know that it was her who messed it up and not him.
And, this is my Reddit shirt. I bought it after spending some time at my old job figuring out how much I get paid to poo a year. It used to be about $12.00 a poo for an anual total of $3125.00 a year in poo profits. Now at my new job it's $13.46 a poo for a total of $3500.00 in poo money! That's a $375.00 increase in annual poo profits. Now I ask you... can you afford not to take dumps at work?
Other than that, I quit my job. There were two really stupid guys working there that really ruined that contract. Now I'm on a new one with a hefty raise and a good promotion... but I'm way out of my comfort zone and I'm more than a little nervous. I think I can do the job, that's not the problem. It's just not what I really enjoy, and it's not where my real talent lies. I'll give it a whack and we'll see what happens. I know it's lame but the thing that keeps going though my head is that old lady in Madagascar 2. After the New Yorkers are ambushed by the penguins and she leads them into the jungle some guy asks "Hey old lady, do you know where you're going?" She says "No, but I have a smile on my face and a skip in my step!" Earlier the guy says to the group "I don't know about you guys, but I'm following the old lady!" So that's me... following the old lady. I swear that makes more sense in my head.
I did get to finally install the radio into my truck that Joy bought me... 3 years ago! Now, if you know me, and especially if you know my brother, you know that the spawn of Pat are not too good in the car audio department. My favorite example is when Jake swapped out a radio in a Dodge Aries and actually got the headlights to dim with the domelight dimmer. It wasn't on purpose and it was really kind of cool. This time I bought the install kit for my truck ($100!!) and i can't believe how smooth it went. I only cut myself twice and once was from stepping on a nail in the garage so that doesn't even count! The system sounds really good, I replaced the factory speakers while I was at it. It can hook up to my phone, iPod and laptop so it's pretty versatile. Now I can hook up the phone and play Scooby-Doo (for free) when I drive Hayden to school or gymnastics. I also get a bunch of Daily Show clips and I put every season of 'It's always Sunny in Philadelphia' on the phone too... good stuff! If you haven't watched It's always Sunny yet then you are really missing out!
We have so much stuff going on it's crazy. We got Hayden into a much better school this year, by San Antonio standards. So picture the worst school in your area, now set it on fire and replace all the books with pregnant teenagers and poo... that's the best school in SA. This school is high on the list but not the best... we're hoping to get him into a good private school. Yeah, I know... it means I have to wear my Jesus pants again. I've been practicing though... I talked to my gay friend yesterday and told him that he's the reason God doesn't talk to us anymore. I felt very holy. I think next I'm send a chain letter about how Obama is a muslim who wasn't really born in Hawaii... but that might be laying on a little too thick. Oh well, I'm hoping that the churchies are as adept at sarcasm as the rest of San Antonio is at driving. Then it'll be fun.
I didn't mean to offend anyone with what I wrote. If you could see the people I have to deal with to get Hayden into this school... you'd know what I mean. I just wish I could be myself and get my son into a good school. 'Our school is our ministry'... yeah right.
I really should have some pictures but... all I have are these.
Hayden took a picture of Seri on my desk, so I would know that it was her who messed it up and not him.
And, this is my Reddit shirt. I bought it after spending some time at my old job figuring out how much I get paid to poo a year. It used to be about $12.00 a poo for an anual total of $3125.00 a year in poo profits. Now at my new job it's $13.46 a poo for a total of $3500.00 in poo money! That's a $375.00 increase in annual poo profits. Now I ask you... can you afford not to take dumps at work?
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