Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Who I want to be when I grow up

I've decided that my retirement plan is going to be 'go crazy'. I don't mean just mumbling to myself crazy, I mean dress wearing, banana slinging, bat-shit crazy. It'll be fun. I told Joy that when that glorious day comes, when the kids are all out of the house and I actually retire that I'm going to concoct at air powered gun that fires frozen Twinkies and then go terrorize downtown. After that... I might vote in a presidential election... you know, just do some really useless idiotic stuff.

Of course, if that doesn't work... or if I get too lazy (which happens to some of my best plans) I'll just resort to being this guy.

Things my dad says.

Now, I think Twitter is lame. But, if there was every a reason for Twitter... this site is it. It's just a 29 year old guy who writes down memorable quotes from his 79 year old dad. It's pretty crass so put on your adult pants when reading... but it's really funny.

I'll leave you with two of my favorites:

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and I'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."

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