Friday, March 28, 2008

What's in a name?

I swung by the local Burger King and was waited on by a drive-through girl named Sparkle. Yes, that is her real name. It's one thing for your parents to not care about you or your future but that is just messed up. The best part is she took my entire order while on her cell phone... her personal cell phone talking to her friends about how fat she looks (not making this up) in her new pants. BTW, she was fat. It wasn't the pants doing it... it was reality. Her job at Burger King probably didn't help either. She got the order wrong and I had to be parked as well. I got my food and then had the manager come out and talk to me. She acted like she didn't know about the phone but passed the girl on the way out, maybe they have pot as the toy in the kids meal this week. Just to be a pain in the butt I'm going to get a hold of someone at Burger King and make a stink. I am so sick of crappy service around here! I had to work my younger years in Hell... in Buffalo we call McDonald's Hell . It's a local dialect thing. Anyway, I was never thrilled to be there and looking back I think I broke more than a few health codes but I did it with a friggin smile. Just FYI, if you every get a burger and they yell to the back to make it special... don't eat it.

It got me thinking though, how many of us really turned out to be what we thought we'd be in high school? I know that when I was in high school I was very different from who I am now. I know that when I left that place I pretty much left that whole person behind me. I guess everyone does that to a point. It's sad really, so many kids in high school just dying to be accepted, the whole while not even liking themselves. There's a country song in there somewhere but that's for a different time. I know I had my demons to face just like anyone else but at least my parents didn't name me something that stupid! Jeash, I hope they didn't save up too much money for Sparkles college fund. Hey, they could give it all to her in singles!

Anyway, the MIL dropped off some Diet Snapple for us. Remember the ad for Snapple? 'Made from the best stuff on Earth!' Pretty catchy huh? Well, I got one for Diet Snapple.

'Diet Snapple... tastes like shit.'

See, it's bold and honest... it'll stick with you, just like the crappy aftertaste. At least the price was right.

Oh yeah, Sega is making a new Aliens game! I am really excited about this one. It is going to take place right after the second Alians movie... aptly names 'Aliens' and actually be cannon to the movies! No creative license crap (I hope). If they do it right this could be the game of the year in my book. They're even going to put in on-line co-op. If I can I'll get the guys at the office to pick it up and we can do some squad based Alien smacking. Here's hoping!



Lastly, our alarm went off at the house while we were out and ADT gave me a call. After the lady asked my secret question "What are you wearing?" and I gave the secret answer "I don't think that it's appropriate for you to ask me that... but it is lacy." she called the police for us. Thanks to my speed racer-esque driving skills we beat the cops home by about 2 hours. Not making that part up. If they get a call for a home invasion where no one is actually home it drops down the old priority list pretty far. Anyway I decided to sneak into the kitchen, grab the biggest knives I owned and explore the house. According to my slightly gun-nutty co-worker this is the stupidest thing to do in this situation. If my family and I are safe, then why risk any danger by entering the house. We should of waited on the cops... who took 2 hours. Yeah, screw that... I wanted to go stabbida stabbida on whoever was trying to pinch my XBox 360. My buddy asked me what I would of done if one of the would be criminals had a shotgun. I thought that was a stupid question because who brings a shotgun to rob a house... how are you going to carry anything if you have to carry the shotgun you brought. Besides, they would probably have their hands full of all my crap which would give me the advantage... unless they wanted to steal my kitchen knives first.

Anyway, I got through the first floor and everything was still there so I was feeling pretty sure the house was robber free when I remembered that I live in the idiot capitol of the world and there was a pretty good chance that these guys might be upstairs stealing the diaper genie or something. Turns out it was a false alarm... but now I think I'm going to buy a shotgun. I know it wouldn't help in this situation but if there is anything I've learned from George Bush it's that a false sense of security will outweigh common sense any day of the week.

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